I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
