dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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