i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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