He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
