I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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