i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
