turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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