He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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