break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize