but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
