i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
