ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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