im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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