haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
