he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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