It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
