you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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