ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
