Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
