Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
