he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
