So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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