we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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