You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she pinky promised me she was 18
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Randomize
