You can't motorboat a personality
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
