is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
