so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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