he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
