By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
