i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
