So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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