Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
