goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
