just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
