pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize