dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
