there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
