Its about making memories worth repressing
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
