i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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