Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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