I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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