Your face is a jimmy john
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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