hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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