just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
