We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
