this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
