I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
