He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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