he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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