New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
