Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
