She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
