I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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