We're like a lot better than the average bears
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
