remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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