Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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