I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
we're so committed to being not committed
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
